• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Because the Family that Skis Together, Enjoys Life Together.
  • Home
  • About
    • Awards
    • Featured Author
    • Brand Ambassador
  • Brave Ski Mom Stickers
  • Contact Me

The Brave Ski Mom

Building a new generation of skiers and snowboarders.

  • Skiing
    • Skiing With Kids
    • Ski Racing
    • Learn to Ski
    • Cross Country Skiing
    • Telemark Skiing
    • Snowboarding
  • Ski Resort Reviews
    • United States
      • Alaska
      • California
      • Colorado
      • Connecticut
      • Idaho
      • Maine
      • Massachusetts
      • Michigan
      • Minnesota
      • Montana
      • Nevada
      • New Hampshire
      • New Mexico
      • New York
      • North Carolina
      • Oregon
      • Pennsylvania
      • Utah
      • Vermont
      • Washington
      • West Virginia
      • Wisconsin
      • Wyoming
    • Argentina
    • Australia
    • Austria
    • Bulgaria
    • Canada
    • Chile
    • France
    • Finland
    • Greece
    • Italy
    • Japan
    • New Zealand
  • Ski Gear Checklist and Recommendations
    • Equipment and Gear
    • Product Reviews
    • Brave Ski Mom Stickers
  • Hiking
    • Camping
  • Biking
    • Downhill Biking
    • Mountain Biking
    • Road Biking
  • Good Stuff
    • Parenting
    • Health
      • Getting in Shape
    • Reflections

No Regret Parenting

September 9, 2013 by braveskimom

birthday biking grand mesa colorado
Biking on our son’s birthday, near Flowing Park Reservoir.

braveskimom logoWhen our oldest son turned 17 last month, my husband took the day off from work. This wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. He was present when each boy was each born and he’s been present for every birthday since (he also takes my birthday off, which is very nice).

The night before the big day, my husband was talking with a colleague. When he told him that he’d be out of the office the next day and why, his friend sighed.

“My daughter is the same age. When she was little, I made a list of the things I wanted to do with her. Now she’ll be going to college in two years and we haven’t done any of them,” he lamented.

Relaying this story to me later that evening, my husband ruefully laughed and said, “I couldn’t commiserate. I realized that I don’t have a list like that. I do pretty much everything I’ve want to do with my family.” 

While he felt bad for his friend, I think he, himself, felt blessed.

Setting Family Priorities

We’ve all heard how at the end of life, no one wishes they’d spent more time at work, away from their family. I think we can all relate to that sentiment and most of us believe that its true.

Yet while a lifetime (hopefully) gives you decades upon decades to grow up, grow wise and set your priorities, the timeline for parenting is short. Sure, we’ll be our boys’ parents forever, but they won’t live with us forever.

Colorado college hockey
Watching college hockey together in Colorado Springs.

When our guys were young, we were pretty much homebodies. We didn’t often go out with friends or leave them frequently with babysitters. When we did go out or away (and my husband and I did have several big work-related adventures sans kids), the boys were with their grandparents who live nearby, having their own adventures, big and small. Almost always, they have been with family.

Over the years, this has sometimes frustrated some of my friends. Since I usually can’t think of anything better than spending time with my family, I have a hard time committing to girls’ trips and getaways. It’s not because I don’t love and value my friends, it’s just that going away with them is something that can wait for the future.

Will I regret the trips I’ve passed on? I don’t think so. Do I look forward to new adventures in the future when my sons no longer live at home? Absolutely.

colorado avalanche family

What’s on Your List?

Obviously, every family is different and I recognize that not everyone can rely on family or prioritize the way we have (or would even want to).

Still I think it’s important for parents to take stock now and then and make sure they’re not setting themselves up for regret. Why? Because no one wants to end up holding an unchecked list and staring at an empty bedroom.

northern ireland
Laughing it up in Northern Ireland.

I have another sweet anecdote from the night before our son’s birthday. When we asked our gregarious, outgoing, friend-oriented son how he wanted to celebrate, he didn’t hesitate. “I want to spend time with the whole family, and since my grandfather loves to fish, I guess we should go fishing.” He picked up his phone and invited his grandparents. And, together, we had a tremendous day and celebration.

Like I said, no regrets.

Flyfishing on his birthday with his grandfather at Island Lake. This was before the biking!
Flyfishing on his birthday with his grandfather at Island Lake. This was before the biking!

 Related Posts: 

  •  Turning Kids Loose: Where, When and How, January 4, 2013.
  • One Tough Mother, July 11, 2012.
  • Family Hiking, Camping and Getting Outside: Tales from Two Mamas, June 27, 2012.
  • Biking on His Own Terms: A Pushy Mom’s Lament, September 28, 2011.
  • No XBox. Not Now. Never. September 7, 2011.
  • Learning to Fly, August 25, 2011.
  • Hello, Goodbye, December 21, 2010.
  • Skippin’ School, October 13, 2010.
  • How I Ruined My Teenager’s Life — You Can Do It Too! September 29, 2010.

© 2013, braveskimom. All rights reserved. Any use or publication of content, including photos, requires express permission.

Spread the Love (thanks!)

  • Email
  • Print
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr

Related

Filed Under: Parenting, Reflections Tagged With: Family, mothering, parenting

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Ken Schmaltz (@BigGreyRocks) says

    September 9, 2013 at 7:07 am

    Great post! I’ve never had an official list. I find that if I focus on making every moment with my boys count instead of focusing on what may or may not happen with them in the future, those moments are rich, adventurous and filled with love. This is especially important as we’re all going through a divorce and the changes that entails. One thing that won’t change is our bonds as father and sons, and the adventures that we share.

    • braveskimom says

      September 9, 2013 at 7:34 am

      Thanks Ken. I am sorry to hear about your divorce, but it certainly sounds like your boys are spending some amazing time with you.

      We don’t have official lists either. Although there have been things we’ve wanted to do with our kids, such as backpack the Grand Canyon (check), visit Rome (may not get done until they’re adults), and more. But as you say, the most important thing is a focus on each moment!

      Thanks again and good luck with the Backpacker Outdoor Heroes competition! http://heroes.backpacker.com/nominees/ken-schmaltz

  2. Michele says

    September 9, 2013 at 7:34 am

    I love this! My friends think I’m weird, too — family time is fun for me. Why would I want to take a break from that? I keep saying that I have no regrets about their younger years. We made the most of them and I still feel like it wasn’t enough time. Happy birthday to your son!

    • braveskimom says

      September 9, 2013 at 7:37 am

      Thanks Michele! I am not sure there is ever enough time, but I will also say that each additional year, has brought additional joys! Stay weird! Cheers!

  3. Sarah Kamstra says

    September 9, 2013 at 9:50 am

    I love this, Kristen. It really spoke to my heart.

    • braveskimom says

      September 9, 2013 at 11:01 am

      Thank you Sarah! I am so happy that it resonated with you. Cheers!

  4. Jessica @ Bring The Kids says

    September 9, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    I absolutely loved this post. It responates so much with everything I’ve been thinking about lately. Living deliberitly and parenting with no regrets – totally the way to go. Thank you so so much for sharing!

    • braveskimom says

      September 9, 2013 at 4:03 pm

      Thanks Jessica! I think a lot of parents feel this way. But its hard to buck society when people are telling you that you need “you time” or “adult time” or “girl time” or “guy time.” I truly believe there are plenty of years ahead for “my time.” Right now, I love that we have “our time.”

      Cheers!

  5. Amelia says

    September 9, 2013 at 9:34 pm

    CHEERS to that! I wish the grandparents lived closer to us, but we are blessed they are willing to travel when we need a little help! No regrets – life is too precious! 🙂

    • braveskimom says

      September 10, 2013 at 11:32 am

      Thanks Amelia! And, yes, having multigenerational support is such a blessing! Everyone gets to build relationships and memories! Cheers!

  6. Lia Keller says

    September 9, 2013 at 11:59 pm

    Fantastic post! I can relate and love finding other kindred spirits in this crazy parenting world!

    • braveskimom says

      September 10, 2013 at 11:33 am

      Thanks Lia! It is always nice to find someone with whom you resonate! Enjoy every minute. Cheers!

  7. Velo Mom (@velomomjen) says

    September 10, 2013 at 8:42 am

    Your family is such an inspiration. People always tell me that their teenage boys don’t like hanging out with them anymore. So it’s refreshing and inspiring to see that does not happen in all families!

    • braveskimom says

      September 10, 2013 at 11:34 am

      Thanks Jen. I think our boys quickly realized that if they continued to hang out with us 1) they’d get to ski all of the time — on our dime and 2) they’d get to go on adventures most of their friends can’t even imagine. You guys do the same with biking…if the parents are out there, active and doing stuff, the kids will want to follow. There is no excuse for boredom!

      Cheers!

  8. Melissa Avery (@melissabravery) says

    September 10, 2013 at 11:18 am

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post!! That is what I aspire to my family to be, I want my children to WANT to spend their time with their family especially when they are teenagers. My kids are toddlers and I agree with everything you say here and are doing the things that will hopefully build the relationship you have with your children!

    • braveskimom says

      September 10, 2013 at 11:35 am

      Thanks so much Melissa! I think another key is that we, as parents, want to spend time with our kids. It works both ways and we make sure that everyone gets to set the pace, choose the place and be trail boss from time to time! Enjoy!

  9. Meghan J. Ward says

    September 10, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    Thanks for the great reminder! My little one is only 6 months, and already I can see how I could have regrets over my first half year with her (but don’t!). I tried extra hard to balance the amount of attention I wanted to give her with the other stuff I ‘needed to get done’. I have a quote on my wall that says, “if you’re bored, you’re not paying enough attention!” As she gets older, I’m excited to start planning memorable ways to spend our time together. So far we’ve done a fair amount of hiking, paddling, camping and playing in the park. I think we’re off to a good start. I want to keep it that way!

Trackbacks

  1. Connecting Children to Nature through "Babywearing" | Tales of a Mountain Mama says:
    September 10, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    […] recently read this great post over at The Brave Ski Mom about No Regret Parenting.  I resonates so deeply because I know how easy it is for life to get out-of-hand crazy busy.  We […]

Primary Sidebar

2023-2024 Partners

FERA
World Snow Day
FERA

Welcome

I'm Kristen, a western Colorado mom, wife and trail boss in a busy outdoor family. Our family has a passion for skiing and my goal is to provide information to help other families enjoy their skiing adventures. Whether you have tiny toddlers just learning to slide or grown children with whom you're planning a reunion, you're in the right place. Cheers!

Never Miss a Post

Enter your email address to subscribe. You'll receive notifications of new posts by email.

Follow Me

FacebookInstagram Pinterest Twitter

Today’s Most Popular Posts

  • No Snow? No Problem: Summer Skiing in North America
    No Snow? No Problem: Summer Skiing in North America
  • Creature Comforts: Good Stuff From CalNaturale
    Creature Comforts: Good Stuff From CalNaturale
  • Paka: The Best Base Layers?
    Paka: The Best Base Layers?
  • The Portillo Experience: Tips for Your Best Ski Vacation
    The Portillo Experience: Tips for Your Best Ski Vacation
  • Behind the Scenes: How Snow is Made
    Behind the Scenes: How Snow is Made
  • Skiing is All About Family for Alpine Coach of the Year Jesse Scott
    Skiing is All About Family for Alpine Coach of the Year Jesse Scott

Categories

Footer

Recent Tweets

My Tweets

Featured In

snowlink world snow day snowkidz
liftopia mtn town learn to ski and snowboard mom trends
Copyright © 2025 · Genesis Framework by StudioPress · Affiliate Disclosure · Product Review & Giveaway Policy · Guest Post Policy · Privacy Policy · Login
 

Loading Comments...