Recently, I met up with a friend at a youth lacrosse tournament. My friend lives in the Vail area and her sons play for Backcountry Lacrosse. The first thing you have to know about Backcountry Lacrosse is that their logo is a skier. This makes my son, whose team logo is a Spartan, quite jealous. This season however, Backcountry Lacrosse has something else on their jerseys: three initials and a number.
My girlfriend explained. “Those initials are the initials of the boy who died in the avalanche, and that was his lacrosse jersey number,” she told me.
Dangerous Conditions
I don’t know the final statistics, but this past winter was dangerous. Low early season snow limited the terrain that was open and forced greater numbers of skiers onto less skiing acreage. Informal reports from emergency rooms told of many more collisions and accidents than normal. And then in mid-winter, the snowpack was unstable. For about three weeks, it seemed that there were distressingly regular reports of slides and fatalities across the Western U.S.
More Skills Than Sense
But in Colorado, no accident hit as hard as the report of a thirteen-year-old boy at Vail who was killed in an inbounds avalanche. Media reports stated that the young man was skiing in a “closed section” of Prima Cornice, a challenging double-black-diamond run. My friend had more information. It turns out that the boy was skiing with two friends. They entered the run where it was open and then hiked up the run. While skiing down through the closed portion of the run, they were caught in an avalanche.
“He was an incredible teleskier,” my friend shared. “But he had more skills than maturity. He had more skills than sense.”
As a parent of young teenagers, I can completely understand this. My boys are expert skiers. Our oldest is a competent young driver (still with a permit). Both have skills, but often they seem to have no sense. Put a friend in the car with my son and his skills deteriorate. Tempt them with untracked powder and they’ll complain about the Ski Patrol closure. They see the immediate payoff, but none of the danger. They just see an authority that is preventing them from doing what they desire.
The “Authorities” Are Not Your Enemy
On the day the 13 year-old boy was killed, the Colorado Avalanche Information Center issued a “backcountry avalanche warning” which meant that avalanches, either natural or triggered by human activity, were extremely likely. Elaborating, CAIC stated that avalanches could be triggered from remote distances and on low-angle or even flat terrain. Skiing inbounds, at a resort, there is no reason to think these three boys had any awareness of the danger. Who checks the backcountry avalanche report when you’re skiing inbounds?
And that’s what I tell my boys: Authority, be it the Ski Patrol, the traffic police or teachers at school, is doing the checking, anticipating the accidents and working to keep you safe. Authority, when it’s a matter of life and death, must be respected: in a car, on the ski slopes, or wherever you may be.
This Is Your Decision Point
At ski resorts with backcountry access there are signs marking the resort boundary. “This is your decision point,” the signs say alongside a skull and crossbones. The message is clear: don’t go here if you don’t know what you’re doing. Inbounds, there are no frightening messages: just ropes and closures. In a car, when a driver takes a call or answers a text message, there aren’t any ropes or signs with scary skulls. But each of these risky behaviors involves a decision point.
I want my boys to grow up to think for themselves. I also want them to simply grow up. Thinking for yourself involves recognizing these decision points and taking wise action, I tell them. Laws, regulations and the Ski Patrol are not trying to ruin anyone’s day. Often, they’re just trying to save your life.
For information on avalanche safety, please check out the excellent US Forest Service National Avalanche Center Avalanche Awareness Website.
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Holly Resignolo says
A great article. Keep after those boys!
braveskimom says
Keep after myself too. I make some bad decisions on a daily basis. But, I’m trying to be better and the first step is putting the darn phone in the back seat. Cheers!
Amelia says
Oh this brings chills, especially because I know I am going to be deal with a couple teenage boys in a few years. I work so hard to teach my kids the fun of the thrill, but more importantly, the risk of the adventure (even at a young age.) Thoughts to the family of that young man….and hoping his poor choice helps bring awareness! (p.s. HORRIBLE avalanche year – lots of deaths in this area too – stay safe everyone!)
braveskimom says
Thanks Amelia. I agree thought and prayers out to the boy’s family and the other boys who were involved. I am sure my boys get sick of me telling them “instructive” stories, but we all need to be aware how life can change from the course of one bad decision. You’re doing a great job with your little guys! It’s so important to teach them to be independent, to enjoy adventure and to not fear risk. I know you’ll balance that with a healthy dose of reality and awareness. Good luck!
Jillian says
I am going to put this on my son’s facebook wall. Our boys need to be reminded that when they test their boundaries and authority they will most likely get hurt.
braveskimom says
Agreed. And great idea to communicate to your son, in a way in which he is comfortable and plugged into. I don’t think any parents want to raise timid automatons who never question authority or think for themselves. But when I hear my kids, other kids and adults complaining about Ski Patrol, I try to remind them that Patrol isn’t here to bum you out, they’re here to keep you safe — despite yourself! Yea, I’m a mom — a by definition — a buzzkill. Take care!
Kate C says
Well, maybe my son is still too young, but I think there is a difference between “most likely to get hurt” and “more likely to get hurt.” It sometimes seems to me that people today are so afraid of risk, because if they do anything “outside the bounds” of normal society, they think they will immediately be hurt. It leads to this huge level of anxiety that is hard to deal with. Smoke a cigar? You’ll probably get cancer. Let your kid walk to the park by themselves? They’ll probably be abducted. Going surfing in Mexico? You’ll probably end up shot by banditos. Actually, you might not… but you need more information to properly assess that risk.
This makes me think of a funny story in my family. We were all on a long car trip, headed down the interstate to somewhere, and my little brother (about 3 years old) dropped something on the floor of the car. (This was back when it was considered “safe” to have your kids in seat belts in the backseat – how quaint). My brother asked my mom if he could unbuckle to get the toy, and she said “Sure, do it quick.”
He said “Hold my leg while I’m unbuckled, Mama.”
She said “Why?”
“So I don’t fly through the windshield!”
My parents had always told him he had to keep his seatbelt buckled so that he wouldn’t fly though the windshield *if we ever got into an accident.* Maybe she left that last part out, or my brother didn’t quite grasp it. But he seriously thought that the minute his seatbelt came off, he was going to be sucked straight through that windshield.
Sometimes it’s hard to communicate exactly how bad a risk is. How likely am I to get sick from eating cheese that’s been sitting in my pack all day? Overnight? For a week? How likely am I going to end up in an avalanche today? Tomorrow? Next week? The risk changes, but we need to be realistic about it, learn how to evaluate information (“perhaps this run is closed for a reason…”) and also accept bad luck.
braveskimom says
That’s a great story! And it proves the point that our assessment of risk changes, both personally and within society.
I think the issue with older kids is that they sometimes feel invincible, they think they know it all and it’s their job to question authority. That’s part of growing up.
Some kids will ski anything — without assessing the risk. They often don’t have the maturity to recognize the risk, let alone evaluate it. We spent our boys’ young years exposing then to all sorts of experiences and adventure. We didn’t want them to feel fear about doing new things, so we evaluated the risk first and affirmed their choices later with enthusiasm. For example, when our boys would ask to ski harder and harder runs, we never said “no.” We knew that they had enough skill to do it and that even if it took a long time, they’d make it down. They also seemed to understand their limitations and rarely set out to do something beyond their reach.
I wouldn’t say that either of our sons is risk-averse. I also wouldn’t call them foolhardy. But, I recognize that as young teenagers, they need more guidance than ever and they need to have the message to respect authority reinforced. They don’t know it all, even though they think they do. Their skills have outpaced their sense and as parents, it doesn’t hurt to scare your teens a bit. Maybe scare it too harsh a word. Perhaps it really is giving them a reality check. “No, you are not invincible. No, you do not know everything. Do you have the skills to survive an avalanche? Have you checked the avy report?” Or as you put it, “perhaps this run is closed for a reason.”
As a parent, I simply am not ready to accept bad luck — not when bad judgment, rather than luck, is in play.
Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your opinions and that adorable story about your brother!
Stephanie Morris says
Great article. So true about some of our kids reaching expert skills before reaching “expert” decision making skills. We try to live an adventurous life, while living to come back and do it again. I have started to think out loud when my kids are with me about my thought processes in deciding what to do. They have learned the hard way that the hardest thing to do sometimes is to walk/ski away from what looks like too much fun to pass up.
braveskimom says
“They have learned the hard way that the hardest thing to do sometimes is to walk/ski away from what looks like too much fun to pass up.” That is such an excellent way of phrasing the point. Thank you.
Thinking aloud is a smart idea…when kids are little so many decisions are made for them. I’d never thought about it, but it must be challenging to begin making their own decisions. By thinking out loud, you’re helping them learn, while modeling smart behavior. Can you come live at our house?
Cheers!
Kim Kircher says
As a ski patroller, I appreciate this post. There is a difference between managing risk and managing hazard. We manage hazard by wearing helmets and seatbelts and double checking our harness before we start to climb. Risk, however, if much harder to manage. We all NEED an element of risk in our lives. That’s why we ski and play in the outdoors. Otherwise we’d spend our time at Disneyland where the only risk, if any, is perceived risk, not actual risk.
As the ski area where I work, we try to mitigate risk with signs, ropes, and sometimes closures. But there is inherent risk in the sport. Hell, there’s inherent risk in life. The best way to manage risk is to be close enough to it that it scares you every once in a while. Only then will a healthy respect emerge. The trick, of course, is not getting too close.
braveskimom says
Thanks Kim. I really appreciate your comment and the distinction you draw between managing hazard and managing risk. I agree that we do need an element of risk in our lives….and yes, the trick is to get scared without getting killed.
Thanks for sharing the perspective of a patroller.
Cheers!